An Aspergers Engagement

Our engagement will be described in two separate posts.  This post describes the proposal and the first several months afterwards.

After going out for almost a year and a half, K and I decided to live together during the summer between my Sophomore and Junior years of college.  It was just for the summer and I put as much space between us as I possibly could.

I still wasn't convinced that I should be with K.  Being the innocent guy he is, he was eating lunch with a girl from one of his classes every single day while I worked at the campus pool.  He was kind of enough to bring me lunch most days but even so I had high hopes that maybe he would choose her.  She claimed to have a boyfriend but I did eat lunch with them on a day off and she didn't acknowledge me at all.  Either way, that one fizzled out and she was gone when the summer was over.

At the end of the summer, when it was time for me to move back into the dorm, he asked "We're looking for another roommate. Why don't you just move in with me and  we could get hitched next September?" 

I thought he was joking so I joked back.  He got a really hurt look in his eyes and said "I wasn't joking.  I was being serious."  Ooops.

He proceeded to ask me to marry him every two weeks from August to November.  Each time, I told him I wasn't ready.  Then one day in November, it occurred to me that I would really miss him if he wasn't in my life. I really did start to feel a connection and things did start to feel right.  I waited until he asked again which was when we were about to leave for Thanksgiving break.  He asked.  I said yes.

 He said "What?????  I don't think we are ready for that yet." 

 I wasn't prepared.  "But you said you were serious and acted so hurt the other times when I said, no."

 "Well," he said, "I talked to my mom about it and she told me I should wait and not be in a rush." 

It was a well known fact this his mother hated me.  She treated me like it and told everyone she knew that she didn't like me. They weren't shy about telling me about it and neither was she.

I decided that I knew him and I was sure I'd have a diamond waiting at Christmas.  For Christmas I received socks sand pajamas.  I started backing off and finding reasons to avoid him.  He obviously wasn't as serious as he claimed to be.

And for a month, he left me alone.  Then he convinced me that he was serious. 

I had a great idea for Valentines Day that year and he drove me to the mall to get what I needed.  I asked if I could borrow his brother since I wasn't familiar with the mall near his house.  He refused saying that he needed his brother to come with him.  I started to have high hopes that maybe he was looking for a ring so I took my time walking through the mall after I gathered what I needed.  I finally made my way out to the parking lot and saw him.  As I approached the car, my hopes were once again dashed as he bragged about picking out my gift and being back at the mall within 15 minutes.   He can't keep a secret so by the time we got to his parents house, I realized that he had in fact purchased the ring...in a 15 min. round trip to the jewelry store.

Once we got to his parents house, he asked that I wait outside explaining that he wanted to show his parents what he'd gotten me.  It took forever as I went to talk to the family dogs.  I was thinking, "His parents must be really upset.  That's why he hasn't come back for me."

I finally knocked on the door.  Someone opened the door and there was K playing video games on the computer.  He had not thought to come get me and let me know it was okay to come inside. 

Later that night, we went to dinner with his brother.  K had a little too much wine and described the ring perfectly. At one point, he realized he'd told me exactly what he'd gotten and had a shocked look on his face.  I told him it was okay and he asked if he could just go ahead and propose that night so he could show the ring to everyone at church the next morning.  It wasn't the proposal I'd dreamed about but since it was what he wanted, I tried to be okay with it.

I was allowed to wear the ring to church the next morning but after that he insisted on keeping the ring with him.  He was worried I would lose it.  Friends were worried every time they saw me without the ring thinking that the engagement was off until I explained that he wouldn't let me wear it.  I was sure that would change once we had it sized right since it was a little big.  

He continued to refuse to let me wear the ring after it was sized right. He said he was concerned that I would lose it or hurt it due to my active lifestyle.  Finally, a friend of my mothers very clearly told him that I was supposed to be allowed to wear the ring and never take it off. Suddenly I was allowed to wear it.

In case you are curious, the jewelry store confirmed that the ring was the fastest one they'd ever sold.  He was in and out within 5 minutes with the ring.  He hadn't thought to check more than one store and it was the only one in his price range.